I have been married for 17 years, have 2 kids and paid off our mortgage. My wife is a very good person, everything seems to be great in our relationships and I cannot find any reason why I should break up and divorce her. I cannot feel the love that was there in the very beginning, our relationships can be described as a child with a parent, but not relationships between a man and a woman anymore. I do not have any complaints towards my wife but I do not feel the burning love that was there 15 years ago.
QUESTION
Should I divorce if our feelings are exhausted and we live just as good friends?
| Name | Age | Marital Status | From |
|---|---|---|---|
| Brad T. | 42 years old | Married | Canada |
MY ANSWER
Nobody can give you a correct answer or advice whether you should get divorced or stay in a relationship. Only you can and must decide what to do! If you feel that you need to experience that burning desire again and it outweighs the possible outcomes of future divorce then you can start a divorce process. If you do not really need those new feelings in your life and rather prefer a stable relationship as you do not have any complaints towards your wife you should stay. You should also think about your 2 kids and all the hassle they will have to go through in case of your divorce.
Maybe there is another woman with whom you are engaged in love relationships and you just compare feelings of your lover to the feelings of your wife? And maybe your lover is pushing you towards a divorce. But in such a case you should consider all pros and cons of such a decision such as starting to work harder to earn more money to pay off the next new mortgage, relationship with your children, possible grief of breaking up the marriage and so on.
I would advise to ask yourself 2 questions at this point:
- What is it now that I want in my life the most?
- Am I ready to sacrifice a good, successful and stable family life to some possible forgotten feelings that would end one day anyway?
If you are not in another relationship with a woman, I advise you to go on a vacation with your wife somewhere away from your city or even country. Since you live in Canada, you may consider going to the USA and taking a one or two week cruise. Maybe go to France, Spain, Italy and in a romantic atmosphere talk to your wife about your feelings and how you want them to change a little bit to satisfy you. There may be other ideas, but the point is that you change for 1 or better 2 weeks your everyday environment and spend time together without kids, pets, friends, relatives and away from work.
But the decision is ONLY yours! Psychologists, friends, colleagues nor priests will not be able to give the only correct answer to your question.