I can not overcome the resentment towards my husband for 2 years. We waited a long time for our second child. When the miracle finally happened and I got pregnant my husband told everyone that I was pregnant. Then he went on a business trip to Chicago on the day I got to the hospital. I lost my child and now I don’t even want to hear about any second child nor about pregnancy. Even though I really wanted a second child for a long time. It’s been 2 years since that happenned.
QUESTION
How can I forgive my husband and let go this situation?
| Name | Age | Marital Status | From |
|---|---|---|---|
| Melissa | 37 years old | Married | USA |
Answer
First of all, if your husband told everyone about the pregnancy, I don’t really understand why to be offended? A very tricky question in your situation: Did he go on a business trip when you got to the hospital, or was he already on a business trip when, for some reason, you ended up in the hospital and this had nothing to do with pregnancy? These are two absolutely different situations. If you are about to give birth to your child and your husband says: OK, you give birth to our child and I will call you back later. Well, in such case it is not normal.
But if you end up in the hospital, your husband could not know in advance or even predict that you would end up in the hospital, right? If he knew that and was aware that there would be problems with your pregnancy and there was a chance of losing the baby, I guess he would never go on that business trip and leave you alone.
You have to understand that life doesn’t revolve around us. A taxi driver who is late for your pickup is not trying to punish you for whatever reason. He is late just because he is late. Maybe it is because of his own reasons, problems with previous passengers, flat tire, engine problems and so on, but he’s not trying to offend you in any way by being late.
If a branch falls from a tree, it does not have the purpose of killing someone, it just falls off the tree. If you realize that your husband went on a business trip not because he left you in the hospital, and he knew about the possibility of losing the child, but simply because he had no idea that it would all end like that.
In my opinion, your husband didn’t think it was a childbirth already. If you think that your husband did not take care of you enough, then either your husband was like that from the very beginning of your relations and everything suited you all right up to that moment. It cannot be that your husband was caring all the time, and then at the most crucial moment he left on a business trip. You don’t provide all the details in your question. Was it such a situation that you went to the hospital for preservation and your husband went on a business trip? Although I don’t see any problem with that either.
If you remember that before he was just as inattentive, you will have to take responsibility for the fact that you chose this person, and that you knew very well he was like that and continued to live with him nevertheless.